Excalibur a la Nc'sGirl
by ncsgirl
Summary: Um... It's a gender swap of Excalibur. Why? Because I felt like it.
1. Beginings

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! It's an honestly serious X-Men fic. Well, really it's Excalibur, but sh! No one will ever notice if it's a gender swap world.  
  
Kurt: I will.  
  
Karla: Sh! You should be happy. Michelle will probably flirt with you.  
  
Michelle: That's... that's... You're really twisted aren't you?  
  
Karla: Yes. Yes I am.  
  
Kurt: You're the only person I know who admits that.  
  
Karla: Really? A lot more should. Anyway, on with the show!  
  
I was stretched out on the deck chair in the sun. I knew I should be enjoying this, but after months of forced R&R and then waking up to find anyone who ever cared in a good way that I existed dead... well, after that, you don't enjoy much of anything.  
  
"Michelle?" I heard a voice from behind me. Chris Pryde, aka Ghost, the only other X-Man left besides me, was tentatively poking his head through the door.  
  
"Ja?" I asked turning a bit to get a better look at him.  
  
"Phone. Dunno who it is but she sounds like she's either going to kill something or start crying." he said, handing the aforementioned phone to me.  
  
"Nocturne?" came the British woman's voice on the other end of the line.  
  
"Ja? Why?" I asked.  
  
"Where the hell have you been?" she sounded angry and I knew right away who it was.  
  
"In a coma for the past few months Brittany. Why?" I replied. Her temporary shock registered as silence on the other end.  
  
"Oh. Look, your friend is in danger. Morgan was kidnapped this morning and I'm pretty sure-" she kept talking but there was a gun shot followed by yells of protest. I teleported on instinct, all fears forgotten.  
  
That was most likely the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life.  
  
My ability to teleport had been sort of... damaged, and so it felt utterly horrible to even attempt going a few feet, let alone blindly and a few rooms. Needless to say I was in no condition to fight.  
  
"What the hell is that?!" Asked someone, a woman I guessed, although she didn't sound much like it.  
  
"Dunno. Leave it alone and finish the mission." The scratchy voice came over a headset. She did as she was told and I realized about then that it was Chris who they were dragging sedated where ever they were headed.  
  
I regained my balance and went back to the phone. Brittany was more than a little angry and she yelled profanities for a few minutes. After she subsided enough to manage decent conversation, she explained what had happened.  
  
Apparently, some woman had shown up and taken Morgan. When she attempted to fight her, she was hit with plasma of some unknown source. She assumed it had to do with the Hell Fire Club, but found absolutly nothing there. She called me because she didn't know of anyone else in the area.  
  
"Joyful. So now you expect that I'll run off and rescue them?" I asked.  
  
"No. I'm going. I just wanted to know if you wanted to come along, considering you dropped the phone because of Chris being taken I assume." she replied.  
  
Translation; I need your help, I just don't want to ask for it.  
  
"Of course I'll help you. Just come get me off this island." I said.  
  
What'd ya think? *bounces up and down* New muses!  
  
Brittany: What do you mean?  
  
Michelle: She means us I guess.  
  
Kurt: Ja, you two have become muses. There's some video game characters over there and some anime over there and then there's us.  
  
Brittany: I'm leaving. *finds the door blocked by magic*  
  
Karla: No you aren't. *evil laugh* I own you!  
  
Brittany: I hate you.  
  
Karla: Bah. Hate's a very strong word.  
  
Brittany: I've got worse for you.  
  
Karla: Why you mean little muse. Whelp you good I will! *smacks her with a rolled up newspaper*  
  
Brittay: *whimpers* 


	2. Santa claus is coming to town!

So there's more Excalibur! Yay! I finally got a break. I'm so proud of myself. Now a few notes from the machine.  
  
A/N: Michelle is a female version of Kurt. Had Kurt been kept, Mystique would have called him Michael. Now, the genderswap works like this. People I feel like swapping get swapped. Not necessarily mutants, which is how a lot of gender-swaps work. There are indeed two Jamie's. One is Madrox and the other is Brittany's sister. There, thought I'd clear some of that up. Speaking of Brittany, she is not the same Brittany as our friendly neighbourhood angsty teenager that I so often wirte about. She is an alternate of Brian. Did we all understand? No? Good. Confusion is halfway to clarity.  
  
Karla: Good machine. *gives it a cookie*  
  
A/N: *gives the cookie to Shana*  
  
Shana: *runs away with it*  
  
Brittany had come in what she proudly called the Midnight Runner. Jamie shook her head and explained that the name had been changed three times and she still didn't like it much.  
  
"So the three of us are headed off where?" I asked Jamie. She looked at me for a second, half squinting as though she were too close to a bright light.  
  
"Sorry about that. I'm just having a hard time with my powers. Nothing looks real anymore." She explained. "That aside, were going to a place directly on the north pole. It's called the Toy Shop or something."  
  
"Should I start singing Santa Claus is Coming to Town?" She smiled and shook her head.  
  
"Not that kind of toy shop. It's a twisted little thing Brigader Stuart tried to explain to me. I wasn't really listening, but he said it was a WHO splinter group that had gone bad. I don't know anymore than that." She replied.  
  
"Where was Allysande to help keep you interested?" I asked.  
  
"She was making this." She pointed to her eye and I could ever so faintly see the outline of a contact lense. "It's to sort of record what I see. She wants to see what the computers can make of it."  
  
"Nothing hopefully." Brittany said, having turned on the auto-pilot.  
  
"Why nothing?" Jamie asked. She didn't mean it in a bad way, she really was curious.  
  
"Because then they could play God too." Brittany murmured absently staring out the window.  
  
"I'm sure they wouldn't hurt things too badly." Jamie crossed her legs under herself.  
  
"Sure. Just like you wouldn't cut me in half." Brittany replied as sarcastically as she could manage.  
  
"I was only seven. I didn't know that that wasn't how magicians did that trick." Jamie was for some reason still calm. She was always calm for some reason. Brittany suspected that her mind had been shattered by her powers and I wasn't about to disagree.  
  
"You thought there really was magic." Brittany said point blank and bitterly.  
  
"There is and you're proof. So am I. So is our brother, even though he doesn't want to believe it." Jamie crossed her arms now too.  
  
"I think this whole thing is just plain stupid. I can't use magic and we both know it. I'm the one without any powers, remember?" She asked. Jamie wrinkled her nose.  
  
"But you do have powers." She said it like it should be common knowledge.  
  
"Let's not start that arguement again. I just want to rescue Chris so that whatever has them is taught some kind of lesson."  
  
"You forgot Morgan." Jamie suddenly looked concerned. "There isn't something wrong is there? I-"  
  
Brittany would have none of that and I made a mental note to keep half an eye on her if we got out of this alive.  
  
Whoooooooo! Another chapter done! Yay!  
  
Michelle: Why do you indirectly try to destroy Brian in so many ways?  
  
Karla: Because it's fun!  
  
Michelle: But wouldn't it be easier to just whap him with a newspaper?  
  
Karla: More easy, less fun.  
  
Michelle: That made no sense.  
  
Karla: You just aren't used to my twistedness yet. Give it due time you must for confusion is the path to clarity.  
  
Jamie: Gah! It's Yoda! *hides* 


End file.
